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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29316546">Clones</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/homoeroticmisogyny/pseuds/homoeroticmisogyny'>homoeroticmisogyny</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homoerotic Misogyny (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Clones, Other, So I’m trying to fix that, There aren’t enough actual Theorlando fics in the tag, This is funny I Promise, it’s clones guys, stop posting your gen fics under Theorlando!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:27:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>685</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29316546</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/homoeroticmisogyny/pseuds/homoeroticmisogyny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Theorlando discover an unfortunate secret in the Homoerotic Misogyny Literature Club, and set up remedying it for themselves.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Theodette Pendragon/Orlando Tim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Clones</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the dawn of the session after the final cloning. Orlando and Theo walked into the room, still in matching scarves. If anything they looked more identical than last time. They stopped in horror as they entered.<br/>“What’s going on?” asked Theo, or possibly Orlando<br/>“Where are the clones?” asked Orlando, unless it was Theo.<br/>“Oh,” said Lucy, “we decided we were done with clones. Didn’t you guys hear?”<br/>“We have to go,” they replied, eerily in unison.</p><p>Later in their room, heads together over a notebook on the lower bunk, in furtive conversation, they came up with a plan. <br/>“This can’t continue!” said Orlando, “they are disgracing the clone name!”<br/>“Absolutely Theo,” replied Theo herself, “they must be stopped.”<br/>Xe took a pencil from the inside of xyr blazer, and drew a map of the school in the notepad. <br/>“Where,” they asked, “would you say the weak points are?”<br/>“Well if I was leading a clone invasion, I would lead them here.” He circled a window to the Homoerotic Misogyny classroom. “Where will we get the clones from?”<br/>“I don’t know”<br/>“What about the secret clone factory up by the river?”<br/>“Hmm that does sound like a good idea,” said Theo, “I’d never have thought of it myself though.”<br/>“That’s why we’re clones,” replied Orlando. </p><p>They arrived at the secret cloning factory an indeterminate time later. <br/>“Wait!” said Theo, halting in his tracks. “How does the secret clone factory work? What if we need a blueprint? We should have taken another homoerotic misogynist with us.”<br/>“Oh don’t worry, everything clone related runs on love,” replied Orlando, squeezing their hand for reassurance. “Besides, we don’t want a hundred clones of Audrey running around.”<br/>Through the power of time skips and hand waves, the clone machines were soon churning out a clone a minute. <br/>“This is perfect,” said Orlando. “Soon we shall have enough clones to show Lucy we mean business.”<br/>“And then she will make me president and we can talk about Jekyll and Hyde all day. Unless that’s already happened, in which case I will make you president and you can talk about about Hamlet all day”<br/>“Or we could take turns,” replied Orlando. Theo thought it was Orlando, but they’d been growing increasingly similar and it was hard to tell. Orlando was pretty certain he was Orlando, but this wasn’t a new development.</p><p>“Bow before the clone army,” they said in unison. They had planned to speak together to disarm everyone, but they hadn’t planned what to say. This seemed like proof the universe was on the side of the clones. <br/>The clone army burst through the window. <br/>“Oh no! Clones!” said everyone. <br/>“Oh no! Originals!” said the clones.<br/>“I’m sure we can talk this out,” said Dieke. <br/>“Absolutely not” said Theorlando. “Clone army: attack.”<br/>Then they fought. To show that it was an epic battle, cool music played in the background with lots of electric guitar. A clone tried to poke Tal in the eye, while another made a dash for Issa, then a third lunged for Percy, before realising that he was a ghost and passing right through him. For a while it looked like the homoerotic misogynists were winning, lead in the main by Lucy screaming “Equal marriage for everyone but clones!”, riling up the clones even more: they weren’t born yesterday (they were in fact born that very day) and her hurtful remarks only made them return the attacks with even greater fervour. At last, the entire club had either defected to join the clones or given up. <br/>“So, said Theorlando, “do you give in?”<br/>“Never,” shouted one of the slutrio from the back of the room.<br/>“Yes,” said Lucy. “Please forgive us. We didn’t realise clones meant so much to you?”<br/>“And?” asked Theorlando, the other one this time. They’d spend the battle sitting on the windowsill making sure they looked absolutely identical to spread even greater confusion. <br/>“We’re sorry?”<br/>“And we won’t ever insult clones again!” said Wren. <br/>“Hmm,” said Theorlando. “Acceptable. But remember, if we ever feel you are undervaluing clones, we will be back”</p>
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